Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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