Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize