My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
