My nipple is on Facebook.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
jump out the window naked night went bad
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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