you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
