How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
