i'm lost and i look like a hooker
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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