check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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