i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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