the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
