Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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