And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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