Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Last time i carry you out of a forest
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
