i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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