Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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