Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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