Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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