do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
