Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
