Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize