Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
