I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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