you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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