Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
