if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
