I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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