you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
