WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I woke up under a house in Key West
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
