At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
