My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
