I wish I could teleport
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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