Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
