that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i was born a porn star she said
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
