What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
