are you still at the devil's house?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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