Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
