the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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