Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
