she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
