This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
