I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
