U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
