Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
