mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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