I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Found your dick twin last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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