I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
