We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
