i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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