That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
