What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
