508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
