Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
