We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
