i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How external is "for external use only"?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
