you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
