Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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