Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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