Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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