Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
