check it out our google latitudes are spooning
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
