He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
