Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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