call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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