I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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