Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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